Love

In just 45 short minutes, it will be Valentine's Day. This year, I will not have a Valentine, and I'm okay with that. I've been thinking about this day for a while now, and I've had all sorts of ideas on what to blog about. While thinking about this day, I was thinking back to my past Valentines. (Wouldn't it be wonderful if my next husband were actually named Valentine?) I'd have to say that over the years, I've been kinda unlucky in love, even when I've had a love. I don't ever really remember celebrating this special day with Seren's dad, and with John's dad, it was mainly all me. Last year was probably the worst, as my then (now ex) husband moved out the day or two after Valentines Day. While thinking about this today, I was thinking how my next relationship will be different. It's funny how I talk about my next relationship, as if there is a chance that I'll be in one soon. However, that's not the case. I'm not looking for anyone at the moment. I would love the occasional date and butterfly feeling in my stomach, but I really don't want anything serious. Which, I think, is why I'm attracted to people at the moment who are unavailable. There is no harm in being attracted to someone who you know will never ask you out, right? I've discovered that this is a wall I've put up, a way to protect myself. I know that one day love will come again. But until then, I'm happy with the love that I currently have in my life, even if it's not the kind of love that leads to a roll in the hay. 

Even though there is not a special someone in my life at the moment, I still enjoy Valentine's Day. Seriously. There are so many heart shaped things to buy. Chocolate flavored everything. Pink and red decorations fill the stores, and I absolutely love it. I love all things pink. In fact, I just bought a new tea kettle this weekend, and it's pink! :) I love the idea of making valentines for Seren's class. I love that love is all around. I even smiled while driving today, looking at the flower stand on the corner and seeing it FILLED with men. Ha! Poor guys are only trying to make their woman happy. You really have to give them credit when they put up with other men at a flower stand. You know they are all looking around at each other, knowing that it's their duty, and they'd better bring home something pretty and red, and hopefully a dozen of whatever those pretty red things are. Then there is that one guy who is an over achiever and orders 2 dozen. You know the other men hate him. 

Anyway...All this to say, I love Valentine's Day. I always have and always will. While thinking about this day filled with chocolate and flowers, I re-researched the story of how Valentine's Day came about. Then I decided to look up the definition of love. Wikipedia states that love "is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and 'the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another'. Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection." Merriam-Webster also threw in how love is an "attraction based on sexual desire." Well put Merriam-Webster, well put. 

So, let's talk about love. Love is a word most women, well, love to hear from their significant other. I have a plaque on my wall (thanks friend) that restates a quote from the Bible about how love is "patient and kind." I never really understood that, until one time when it hit me. I've read that passage a million times, but I guess I never really listened to what the words were saying. The passage I'm talking about is 1 Corinthians 13. One of my favorite parts is when it's stated that love "believes all things, hopes all things." I have love like that. 

Funny how one word can carry so much weight. It can sometimes mean so much. Yet it often times has no value at all, like so many words in our English Language.  

So now, back to Valentine's Day. You know what I love most about this Valentine's Day? My friends and my daughter and my son. I've already received goodies from 3 of my friends. My friends make my heart happy, they really do. My kiddos make my heart happy as well. I love it when John says to me, "I wub ewe so much." Awww. I could just gobble that little boy up. As for Seren, she is such a quiet girl who has such an open heart. Even though there are days when they both drive me batty, I wouldn't trade it for anything because then I wouldn't have times like these to share. 

I found a cute idea from Pinterest a month or so back, and showed Seren, and we decided to make these for her Valentine's to hand out in school. The idea is to take crayons, chop them up, melt them using a heart shaped mold, and then add a cute message to a card. The process was easy, but quite detailed. I think the hardest part was trying to get the paper off of all the crayons. My fingers still hurt just thinking about it! After that, I chopped them up, and here are Seren and John helping me fill the mold. 

Here's what they looked like, slightly melted. 

And here are all of the hearts, cooled and ready to assemble! 

Here is one valentine, finished, up close. It reads, "Happy Valentine's Day for 'crayon' out loud." 

Too cute. 

 And here are all 34 of them. Hard work, but someone's gotta do it! ;) 

See? All good reasons to love Valentine's Day. As if those were not enough, I have 3 more. Here is a picture of some goodies I bought this weekend. My cute as a button (and aforementioned) tea kettle, chocolate wine and cherry chocolate tea! Yum, yum! 

Alrighty dear friends. I've taken over an hour to write all this, and it's now Valentine's Day. So, happy Valentine's Day to you and yours! May the love that is patient and kind fill your house and your day. :)

Superior Dairy

The kids and I took the train down to Hanford yesterday. We've done this before. Usually it's with our friend Beckie, but this time it was just the 3 of us, which was kind of weird. We walked from the train station to Superior Dairy, which has some very delicious ice cream. It was a small walk, which I worried would be too much for John, but it really wasn't. I mean we walk way more than that around the zoo for cryin out loud! 

Anyway we loved the train ride. John is enamored with trains, and he loved, loved, loved the ride! You can see the amazement in his face. 

  

Here they are waiting for the train to roll in. They were so excited! And you know what I loved best about  this whole day? It was so much fun and different than what we usually do, that they were so happy and there was absolutely no fighting. Mommy win! Now if I can only bottle up this recipe for a day when all they do is fight. 

I digress. Look at my little angels. ;)

Again, happy kiddos passing the time on the train. The train down was much nicer (and better smelling) than the train back home. 

One of my favorite pictures. So sweet. <3

 And now time for the good stuff! We did have lunch first, each of us having a sandwich. Then we were ready for the ice cream! 

Seren stuck with her usual-chocolate. 

John had his favorite-banilla. 

 

I, on the other hand, had something a little more exciting, although my usual. This banana split is so yummy! I have to tell myself over and over that I'm not a quitter, and to finish, but I couldn't this time. I'm sure it was the fact that I had lunch first. Damn me for being a responsible adult and having dessert after the fact! ;)

Anyway, is it wrong of me to want some of this now? 

I think a trip down to Hanford is in order at least once a month! ;) 

Toy Story on Ice!

Last Friday I took the kids to see Toy Story on Ice. I love taking them to events like that, and they loved it as well. John has been pretty infatuated with Toy Story-all of them, so I knew he was going to be so excited, and he was! The look on his face when they all came out was priceless, he was in such awe. As a mom, it made me so happy inside. 

Here are some pictures from the night. I took a fair amount, but also was aware enough to put the phone away and actually enjoy in the experience. :) 

Good ol Mickey sweetness. :) 

Family. <3 

 My favorite guy! 

 The army men were pretty fun to watch!

 "The claw!" 

 My little John-John. He really was happy. :)

 Serensita enjoying one of her favorite treats. 

 My turn to wear the hat. 

 So funny to see them skate in outfits like this. 

 Barbie and Ken. They had a romance. :)

Finally, a video from when they all came out. This was one of John's favorite parts! He plays this video over and over, showing his friends when they come over.

I'm so glad I took the kiddos to see this. John talked about "Toy Tory" for days afterwards. Love these memories we're making. 

A New Year, a New Semester

Tonight was the first night back to school for myself. I have only one year left of the Master's program. Last semester was a rough one for me. Not that it was difficult, but it was that I had no motivation to make it through. Oddly enough, I had a class that I loved and then another class that was fairly easy. I think I just needed to make it over the hump. Well, I've made it over that hump, and it's all downhill from here. :)

Last semester I kind of felt like I was a bag blowing in the wind. (Get it?) I didn't really know where I was going with this degree I will eventually get. Not only that, but I was having doubts if this was really the right career path for myself. Would I be a good teacher? Can I help struggling students in reading? Thankfully, however, I felt much differently tonight. I feel I have a plan, whereas before I was just kind of going with the flow.

There are a handful of things I feel strongly about in life. Parenting and education are at the top of the list. I'd say I'm pretty easy going and most often keep my beliefs to myself, even about issues I'm passionate about. Everyone is entitled to parent how they see fit, I mean of course they are, it's their child! However, if I can help educate some parents, then I would feel a small sense of pride. I think that's why I love working where I work. Even if a parent does things differently than how I would, I still enjoy sharing my experiences with them, and also hearing theirs. So, while I was in class tonight, it hit me. My dream job would be to teach teen moms. I would also like to teach at either the city college level, or even adult education. I'm not sure how helpful my degree would be, as it's in Education, but with a Reading and Language Arts emphasis, but I'm pretty sure it will be my ticket in. I'd love to teach children's lit at City, or parenting to teen moms. Or heck, even both! Maybe I could teach others how to teach reading, because I'm so well versed in that. (Please note sarcasm.) Better yet, I can be a push in reading teacher in the school districts. Simply wonderful the doors that are open for me!

At any rate, it doesn't matter what I do with my degree, it just matters that I feel confident in getting it, because I really was doubtful for a while there.

I'm now realizing that I'm going to have to say goodbye to the social life I've had these past few weeks, as I'm going to have to get back to the nitty gritty that is school work. I've enjoyed the free time and sleep that I've gotten, but I have a feeling that is over. No more being caught up on my TV shows, no more fun reading. (Aside from a project I'm doing with a friend.) Oh, and probably a little less of the blogging. But really, how much less can I blog? ;)

Cheers to a great semester ahead! (I'm going to need a pep talk to remind me of this a month or so down the road....Feel free to encourage me.)

Reflecting

I started this blog way back in June of 2004. (Holy cow, it's been 7 years!) I remember the main reason I wanted to write it was because I had a toddler, and I was wanting a way to keep track of her development and cute things she did. For some reason I thought blogging would be easier than writing in her baby book. A friend at work (the library) told me about blogging. I loved the idea from the start. She said it was an online journal, kind of like a public diary. Well, growing up I LOVED writing in a diary. I have always loved the written word, be it my own words, or the words of others. A big dream of mine has always been to become a writer. (Probably not going to happen....It's like singing, everyone thinks they have talent.) So, when she told me about blogging, I was ALL IN! This was just before blogging became popular. When it started to become the thing to do, I was excited because I was actually doing something cool before it was cool! ;)

Throughout the years I've used my blogs in many ways. Ooops, I said blogs. Yes, I have a few, with this one being my constant. My others are either private, anonymous or topic specific. For example, I had a blog during the time I was a surrogate. I haven't written in that blog in forever, but it's still there. (I should update it or something.)

Anyway...

I love blogging. Over the years my point of view has changed. You can sense the tone, depending on what's going on in my life. It took some growth on my part, but I had to learn what not to blog about. I've used my blog to complain about stupid things. I've used it to state my opinion on issues I feel strongly about. I've used it to post pictures of Seren, John, family and friends. I've also used my blog to make people upset. Sometimes it was intentional, most of the time it was not. The times when I've hurt family or friends, I've felt awful. Sometimes you never know how words can sting, even the unspoken word. I've had to find this fine line of blogging about my feelings, and being respectful of other's feelings. I think that's why my blog has transformed into what it is today. Today it's mainly filled with pictures and memories of my kids, which is the main reason why I started this thing in the first place. The problem is that I miss chatting about my feelings on certain issues. Sort of. At the same time I don't really want certain people knowing my feelings. Hence, the private blog.

Well, tonight I've made an exception. I've just been thinking a lot, and thinking about my blog. I've often thought of making it private, for my eyes only. I mean I share almost everything I share here on facebook anyway. Also, does anyone blog anymore? Furthermore, does anyone even read my blog anymore? I don't know, just thinking out loud.

It's been nice to write tonight. I always find writing cathartic, and tonight it's given me something to do while I sit here. I've hurt my back again, so I've been pretty immobile this evening.

It's getting late, so off to bed I go, looking forward to waking up with a normal back again.

Sweet dreams dear friends.  

Looking Back

Dear 2012,

I'm looking forward to what you bring. I look forward to getting my Master's Degree before the year's up. I also look forward to being much smarter than last year.

While I'm mentioning last year, I'd like to say that I hope you treat me better than that stinkin ole 2011. I think the fact that 2011 was odd, it had a bit of a grudge on its shoulder, and it showed. Albeit, 2010 was hellish, and I'd like to never repeat it, I think 2011 was only a tad better.

While driving today, I was thinking back on people who have affected my life, realizing that they all have defined who I am today. I know it sounds like a cliche, but now I know why people say it, because it's true. I've had wonderful relationships. I've also had crummy relationships, and even those relationships have helped shape me into who I am. I've learned from every situation. I may make the same mistakes, but I learn something new each time.

Thankfully, I didn't lose anyone in 2011. (I don't mean lose as in I can't find them, I mean they've gone on to that magical carpet ride in the sky.) However, others in my family have. So, 2012, I'd like to plead to you in that we don't lose anyone this year. I'd like to cherish the time I have with my loved ones, so please allow me (us) that time.

I know a lot of people make promises to you, Even Steven 2012, but I have to say, that's not me. I have no resolutions. Wait, I take that back. I resolve to finish a book I've been working on since summer! There, take that 2012, I'm going to finish a book! I love making resolutions I know I can keep. ;) Even though I don't make new year's resolutions, I do have desires, goals, dreams, so hopefully some of those come to fruition.

As I sit here, thinking, isn't it funny how things change from year to year, moment to moment? I look back and think how naive I've been at times. When you're young, you think differently, and boy did I. I bet I'll look back in 10 years and think the same thing about my 33 year old self.

Anyway, to 2012, I say again, I look forward to what you bring. I'm excited for the adventures ahead and I hope they are all filled with cupcakes and sprinkles. But only good cuppie cakes. Who wants a year filled with ugly, dry, crumbly cupcakes? Surely not me.

And don't call me Shirley.

Zoolights!

Now that I'm on break, I can actually catch up with happenings this month. When I'm in school I have to prioritize, so some things kind of fall to the wayside. So, enjoy the next 3 posts that tell of all the fun we've had this month! :)

The past weekend we went to the zoo for their annual Zoolights. This is where they open the zoo up at night during Christmas time, and post lights all around. We went the first year they did this, then again this year to celebrate our friend's birthday!!! It was a lot of fun. We didn't see any animals, since they were sleeping, but we weren't really there to see them anyway. We wanted to see the lights! :)

Here is the first picture I took. Beckie was so kind to get the kids special effect glasses. If you look closely, you'll see reindeer around the lights. I LOVED this! 

 The entrance to the main part of the zoo. 

 Look at the little snowman. Look familiar? ;)

 My darling Serensita. 

 All the kids in a gingerbread house. 

 Friends enjoying hot chocolate. <3

 Everyone.

 These are the way I like to look at the flamingos. These guys don't smell as badly as the real ones do. 

(Love the Grinch in the background.)

 :)

 When at the zoo, be a monkey.

 John and his favorite guy. 

 My favorite guy.

 Merry Christmas and....

Decorating and Gingerbread House Fun!

We started decorating for Christmas on the 1st of December. It was fun to play Christmas music, decorate and make cookies. It really was a wonderful evening with the kiddos. 

Here are the cookies we made to celebrate. I think we were just doing a test run for Christmas Eve. ;)

 Seren decorate this part all by herself. She was so proud! 

My front door wreath.  

My first time ever decorating the outside of anywhere I've lived! :)

The finished product. I love my little tree. 

It was cute watching John decorate the tree, as all of his ornaments were in the same spot-in the front, at the bottom (at his level). ;)

 That weekend we had friends over for our usual girl's night out. After we had dinner, the kiddos decorated a gingerbread  house. They had so much fun! 

 Somewhat of a finished product. I know it's not perfect, but the kids did it all by themselves and they were very proud!

 The finished product. Look closely, however, as someone's head is missing. ;)

Christmas Fun!

A week (or two, the days sometimes blend) ago I took the kids to go see Santa and take a drive down Christmas Tree Lane. John didn't sleep for his usual nap time, so he was a bit cranky once we actually got to see Santa. He was happy right until, then didn't want to talk to him once it was our turn. I ended up in the picture, but don't like the way I look, soooooo.......Yeah, I'm not posting the picture. ;) Anyway, after a visit with Santa, we went to dinner, then headed over to Christmas Tree Lane. At the very end there is always Santa, and John was super happy to see him there, and didn't want to let go of him. Awwww. He's so cute because he thought it was the same Santa. I just love him so. 

Here's John after our first visit with Santa. He's so happy here!!! 

 We have walked this before, but the past couple of years we've been driving down. The kids really, really loved it this year! :)

One of John's favorite decorations.

 One of Seren's favorite decorations. This was towards the end and was pretty awesome! I should have taken a video, but didn't think about it until it was too late. Either way, you can still enjoy part of the beauty.

 Since John is so enamored with Santa, I bought him these super cute pajamas. When he got them he just wanted to hold them for a couple days, not wanting to wear them. He was so happy, it was cute. :) Here he is waiting for me to make him all better, as we were playing doctor and he was being the sick patient. So stinkin cute!

My two loves! 

(Picture taken at Grandma & Grandpa's.)